Summer holidays are the best!

I am so lucky, I now only work during term time. So I get to have 5 whole weeks off with my 3 little rascals!

We are a little over half way in and we have had some lovely days. We have been to some workshops that have been either free or rather cheap at local places. Today was pirate Lego making. 

I took Marley and my nephew, Cole along with my partner and his son. They are all similar ages so was a good boys day which promoted working as a team as well as individual little projects. The boys all seemed to really enjoy it! 

We have also been to messy play workshops where the children have potato printed onto material and then turned the material into little bags! Such a sweet idea. 

It’s been so nice to see the older girls enjoy the little things and being creative and silly again. School really does seem to have an effect on them which makes them act older than their years. Now I feel like I have children again instead of mini teenagers, I definatly have to keep on top of the activities that keep them creative and young. 

Kx

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To Google or not to Google.. 

Today I got a letter confirming Laila’s diagnosis of dyspraxia. The letter also stated that they would like to test Laila for ‘fragile x’ . I have honestly never heard of this and I am trying so hard not to Google this and worry myself more. Should I wait and see if it’s something to be concerned about or to prepare myself?! I just don’t know! 

I also joined a dyspraxia support group, they have spoken alot about routine and organisation labels and tags, colour coding ect. I am not really sure where to start  so If you guys have any tips on how to get into better habits please share with me! Kx

Photo Credit: unknown

Laila’s so proud of herself!.. As she should be!

Today started off rather pants, Just seems like everyone I met was out to irritate the he’ll out of me. 

All changed after school when my eldest daughter came home super excited shaking a letter in my face. She’s been chosen to represent the school in a swimming gala and been told she’s one of the strongest swimmers in her year group. Her face was such a picture i could feel myself filling with tears of pride. As I’ve spoken about before, Laila has dyspraxia and she finds so many things a struggle. Especially when it comes to sports. I am so happy that she’s been recognised for her efforts because she has very weak muscles and gets alot of pain in her legs and back, in some ways it’s harder for her than others an she’s like me, one of the kids that never gets picked for anything, until today!! I just had to tell you all how excited we are!! 

Kx 

Laila turned 10!!..

A couple of days ago my first born had her 10th birthday! 

We went out for breakfast with most of the family, all her cousins were there and we took her bestie with us too. When we got home we started to set up for her little tea party. She went for a emoji theme and had a few friends over. They played make overs, card games and well there was a lot of selfie taking and giggling going on. Before we knew it her friends had gone home and we were blowing up balloons and singing happy birthday with a emoji cake with family all over again. Was a lovely day.

She had a lot of birthday money so we had a shopping day. Just the 2 of us. We went into lots of girlie shops and brought lots of bits and bobs. Was nice for me that even though we were buying make up, lush bathbombs, earrings and most of claires accessories, She really enjoyed going to build a bear and having so much choice of what to get. Was nice to see that she still enjoys being a little girl too.  

Happy birthday baby girl. Kx

We must enjoy what we have..

I have this friend, and in so many ways we are the same. Especially when it comes to over analizing our parenting skills. Our situations on paper are very different but its the closest we both have to being able to understand each others ways of thing, which makes alot of the problems that arise over time quite similar.

Its good to have people around you who remind you that you arent alone.

Today we both spoke of our determination to get this parenting malarky right. As we all do. I feel like sometimes i may be a little hard on myself and my idea of the standard of parenting i want to achieve isnt always achievable. I dont mean in the day to day love. Maybe a little more time could be set aside at times but mainly i find myself torn. I would love to be the stay at home earth mother type, which i have a percentage in me, possibly 60%. I also want to be a hardworking role model who can provide alots of wonderful experiences and have a very comfortable finacial life… never going to be me. Yes i work, part time. In a nursery. I am never going to earn a fortune. But i am trying really hard to do my upmost best. We may not be travelling the world in style but we do share experiences in a less glam way closer to home. And my kids seem very happy with what we can do. 

I look at other people my age and how different our lives are. Right now i know one girl who is in NY doing photo shoots as a MUA preparing for fashion week. And another who is working on hair at london fashion week. Another who has built up her own beauty business so high shes just got a new salon and a beautiful 5 bed house and holidaying in duabi. I know i shouldbt compare. And im sure they are just as torn as me. Just in a different way. I dont have to leave my children for days to work and have nannys or clubs picking them up from school. Im there. I do wonder, i wonder if these mothers then make more of the time with their children and because moms like me are around more do we become complacent. Or do you loose that daily connection of what is going on in each others day to day lives.

 I also wonder if as parents we will ever be happy amd guilt free?? No matter which way our life style is.

At the end of the day i want them to be happy, well rounded kids who knew i was always there. Even if i cant always be there for every workshop or assembly. But i am their biggest cheerleader. 

I have to remember we cant have it all. We just have to enjoy what we do have and the experiences that come our way. As parents, we are all truly blessed.

Kx

Hallie is 9!!

Yesterday my baby girl turned 9 years old. I cant believe it! 

There is just over 11 months between my girls, so right now i have two 9year olds in the house. I am pretty sure there has been a miscalculation somewhere. I cant be old enough to have such grown up children. 

Hallie had a lovely birthday and she celebrated with friends over the weekend and we have a girls day out planned this coming weekend. 

I always remember my mom taking me and my sisters out for a 1:1 shopping day when we were young, so now they are older and ask for money more than gifts, i really enjoy having those same shopping days with my daughters. Kx

It just takes time.

So yesterday, 13th february marks a very important day for me. It was the day i gave birth to my 2nd daughter Hallie Mai. This year she turned 9 years old. Happened within a blink of an eye thats for sure.

It also marks the day of when i nearly died. Nearly leaving a 11month old and a newborn motherless. For years and years i have thought of these 2 things as one. Hallies birthday the day i almost died. And spent years reliving the fear and upset. And blaming myself and my body for something that was out of my control.

When Hallie was born i suffered with a retained placenta. It is thought that the placenta was covering scar tissue that was still healing from Lailas birth as i got pregnant so quickly. So the placenta torn pretty much in half. At staff change over. This information wasnt priperly passed over to new staff so i spent the next 4/5hours bleeding none stop. By the time my consultant came over i could no longer speak, i couldnt grasp a pen to sign my name on the forms for surgery they needed to do and i couldnt lift my body at all. In my head i was fine, i was using all my will and might to move and talk for what was needed. 

I remember as i was about to go down to theatre, i was looking at myself. It was like a birdseye view. I really didnt expect to wake up again.

But, this year is the 2nd year that i havent got upset. Or felt the need to relive that day. Yesterday was Hallies birthday. A day to celebrate. And today i remembered that i hadnt remembered and i feel so happy that 9years on i am moving past such a tramatic experience. I am a very lucky mommy. Kx