Be kind to yourself.

This is something i have always found tricky. Especially since becoming a mother (almost 10 years ago now. Scary thought!) I know what people mean when they say this sentence to you but if it doesnt come naturally to you, how do you do it? Im not really one for regular beauty treatments, i lack style in most ways. Yes, when it comes to my children and my home i find it easy, but if you lack in self confidence and self worth, how do you make that grow? I believe i read that it takes 60-90 days to make something a new habit. Do any of us have enough patience and motivation to force a new habit when the regular day stuff feels like such a chore?

I am going to give it a good go. I am going to try doing abit of yoga each day, just and home watching youtube or something. Ive read this is good for anxiety. I am going to drink more water, eat more balanced meals. Try and find things that i personally enjoy, like going for walks, reading a book, shopping, cooking, baking… whatever it may be. Im going to find it. 

Any hints or tips and ideas are very welcome!! Help! Kx

A little lost.

For the past month now i have been battling the worst depression and anxiety i have experienced in many many years. Sometimes i feel like i am loosing my mind. Just the other day i decided to have an earlier night as i havent been sleeping well for a while now. So, i was lay in bed and it must have been a cold night as the heating clicked itself on. Well that was it, that alone set off the anxiety trigger, all of a sudden i doubting that i had double checked all windows and doors were locked, convinced myself someone would come in to the house during the night.. wait a minute, whats that noise? Im sure i heard foot steps down stairs. I search under the bed for my daughters old crutches and slowly creep down stairs, crutch in hand looking and checking everywhere was safe and locked before heading back to bed, almost running up the stairs like i was in a horror movie being chased by some kind of scary something and kept that crutch by my side for the rest of the night, but while all this was going on a little part of me knew i was being silly and was telling myself off for acting like a fool. There was me, the only one who knew but yet i felt embarrassed and ashamed, i felt like i was being a drama queen but at the same time still terrified of the fact that it could actually happen. 

This was jus one small example of what goes through my mind at times. Anxiety attacks when im out in public are becoming more regular. The thought of work panics me from the minute a work day finishes until the next arrives. 

I cant live like this. This isnt me. Though i need to accept it is now part of me. And thats not easy. 

I need to learn, learn about anxiety and its triggers, learn different ways of coping, find the ways that suit me. I need to learn how to be kind to myself and to truely believe its not a selfish act. I need to learn how to enjoy all the people and things i have around me. I know how lucky i am. But i want to really believe it from deep down and really be truely happy and comfortable in my own skin. Where to start? Kx